I cannot understand


I have been trying all week to write about someone who chose to take her own life because she could no longer deal with her illness. I haven't been able to find the words, because I cannot understand and I hope and pray that I never know what complete hopelessness feels like.

Tell me how a soul can be so lost 
and swallowed by despair,
that walking into nothingness 
seems easiest to bear.

I cannot understand.