I am tired of being sad... have I said this before? And then gotten mired once again in the feeling that I cannot move?
I met a couple on the cruise - they were from North Carolina and very nice to chat with. During one conversation, the moment seemed appropriate for telling them that I am a recent widow. They told me that one of their best friend's husband had committed suicide a year ago and they have been helping her deal with his death. And then they said that they were wondering when the hand-holding would no longer be necessary. I know the comment took me by surprise... I don't know if my expression changed, but I thought to myself "Yes, that is how people feel; that a year is probably long enough to mourn." And then you flip a switch and move on with your life. Well, I certainly have tried. I have covered thousands of miles trying to move on, haven't I?
This season always gets me down... I'm not sure why. People are frantic to shop and spend... hoping that in that pile of gifts will be the perfect, life-altering, cue-the-choir-singing-hallelujah!, this is the best present ever!
Too Grinchy am I? Okay, green isn't my color anyway.
